Belonging Without Dividing
A reflection on identity, control & the human spiral
When we call something “science,” often we’re not talking about the method itself , we’re talking about the human need to validate an idea so it feels like it belongs somewhere. We don’t just use the term to describe a process. We use it to differentiate ourselves from others. To align with a group that appears to have “the truth.”
I learned the scientific method at university. I know its value, its structure, its historical significance. I have no desire to diminish it. But I’ve always wondered why we feel such urgency to prove, classify, measure, and label everything. What part of us needs an identity tag just to breathe a little easier.
Over the years, I’ve realized that classification isn’t just an intellectual activity. It’s a survival strategy.
Classification is how the brain tries to control the uncontrollable
Human life carries a constant tension: Not knowing what will happen. Not knowing if we’ll be safe tomorrow. Not knowing who will accept or reject us. To survive that uncertainty, the brain builds boxes:
Science / non-science.
Right / wrong.
Inside / outside.
I belong / I don’t belong.
Classifying soothes us. It gives a temporary sense that we understand something, even if it’s an illusion.
It’s an attempt to bring order into a world that refuses to be tidy.
At the core, it all comes down to belonging
Beneath every label and category there is a very primal instinct: “I need to belong to survive.” And because every instinct has its shadow, belonging also requires differentiation. We edge toward some people and away from others. We adopt certain identities and reject others. Not because of superiority, but because of fear. Human history repeats the same storyline: Us vs. them. My truth vs. yours. My identity defined by what I exclude. We see it in politics, spirituality, academia, and in everyday micro-moments.
The trap of dichotomies
The world does not function in two columns, yet we behave as if it should.
Reason vs. intuition.
Science vs. what can’t be measured.
Light vs. shadow.
Masculine vs. feminine.
We simplify because processing everything would overwhelm us. But the same simplification that helps us survive also confines us. It shrinks our capacity to hold complexity. It forces us to pick a side even when both sides can be true.
Two truths can exist at the same time
Sometimes my mind feels like a spiral: I return to the same point, but never from the same angle. Each turn brings a new perspective.
Cognitive-behavioral psychology helped me see my repeated patterns as signals, not failures.
Somatic work brought me back into a body I had ignored for years.
Internal parts work gave language to the voices I used to fear.
My dreams offered symbols for what my waking mind didn’t know how to express.
And shadow work (from Jung to my own integrations) taught me that what we reject in ourselves doesn’t disappear; it waits.
All of this coexists without conflict. The rational and the intuitive. What can be measured and what can only be felt. The individual and the collective. These aren’t opposites, they’re layers of the same truth. As if life were not black or white, but an entire spectrum insisting that multiple realities can be true at once.
I also fall into the urge to classify
Here is my own contradiction. Sometimes naming things makes me feel safer. Defining concepts helps me make sense of myself. Writing gives shape to my thoughts. Even this article is part of that process. Writing is how I integrate what I don’t yet understand. How I hold my dualities without forcing myself to choose a side. How I observe my own longing to belong without condemning it.
What if we don’t need to classify in order to exist?
Maybe we’re ready for something more honest:
To admit that we need belonging.
To admit that control is always partial.
To admit that splitting life into two categories impoverishes it.
To admit that we can be many things at once without being inconsistent.
Life isn’t binary. It’s complex, contradictory, deeply human. Maybe real growth lies in learning to hold that complexity without collapsing. In allowing two truths to coexist without feeling threatened. In letting go of the reflex to turn difference into danger. In remembering that identity is not built through rejection, but through integration.
Maybe it’s not about classifying in order to belong, but learning to belong without dividing.
With love,
Maria Luisa.
If this reflection resonated, you are welcome to join my newsletter.
I share writings, insights and gentle reminders to support your own Spiral Way.
