Authenticity and Presence
The revolutionary act of inner reeducation
1. The trap of modern authenticity
We live in a time that sells authenticity as something you build. Wellness culture insists that if we adjust every habit, every routine, every early sunrise, we will eventually become our “best self”. Yet that constant pursuit often takes us further away from ourselves instead of bringing us closer.
I know this because I lost myself there too. When I lived in Indonesia, I would wake up at six with the intention of being disciplined. I went to the gym and many mornings ended up asleep on the mat until eight thirty. I would wake up exhausted, unable to understand why I kept trying to become an idealized version of myself that did not match my inner reality. Then came the chain of rituals: meditating, walking on the beach, the perfect breakfast, multitasking in a startup that drained me. Produce, produce, produce. By three in the afternoon, I had completed the script of that supposed “best version”, yet my body felt empty and my soul dimmed.
That was not authenticity. It was another mask, a more sophisticated way of seeking belonging and love from the character rather than from my essence. Because authenticity is not about adding more techniques or optimizing ourselves. It is about inhabiting ourselves. It stopped making sense the moment I realized I could not build authenticity on top of an inner ground that was disconnected. I had to return to listening first. To feeling. And from there, rebuild presence.
2. Gabor Maté and authenticity as a return
Gabor Maté names it with striking precision: authenticity is not an ideal version you fabricate. It is the ability to notice what your body feels the moment you betray yourself. It is that subtle instant when something contracts inside you and yet you keep moving forward as if nothing happened.
We all recognize these silent gestures:
• the no you swallow
• the yes you offer without wanting to
• the word you soften
• the silence where you edit yourself
They are invisible outwardly, yet decisive inwardly. When you begin to notice them, your system no longer tolerates dissonance. Something in you recalibrates on its own. Not through discipline, but through truth. What emerges is not a superior version of you, but the path back to what was always there.
Authenticity is not an ascent. It is an unlearning. A descending into your center to recognize yourself again.
3. When you stop self editing: presence is born
Authenticity and presence are two movements that depend on each other. One opens the door. The other holds you inside.
Presence appears when you stop demanding so much from yourself, when you no longer need to produce in order to feel worthy, when you release control and discover that you do not disappear. It is an inner landing. Not spectacular, but deeply true. It is the moment when you stop being a project to perfect and become a place where you can inhabit yourself.
Then life recovers its natural rhythm. The body sets the tempo instead of the character. You stop convincing the world and start listening to yourself.
Presence is allowing yourself to exist inside your own rhythm. It is recognizing yourself as enough within it.
4. The body as a pedagogical compass
Studying pedagogy left me with a lesson that grew deeper over time. We cannot truly learn when our inner foundations are shaking. To integrate something real, we must first unlearn.
With time I came to understand that the body works in the same way. It is not a spiritual accessory or an optimization tool. It is the teacher.
It is the body that records every micro betrayal. The body that sets limits. The body that signals when you drift away from yourself. The body that brings you back to what matters when the mind runs after a character that is already exhausted.
Authenticity is not a theory. It is a somatic pedagogy:
• the body as the teacher
• presence as the method
• inner honesty as a daily practice
• unlearning as a profound curriculum
5. Returning to the starting point
Returning to authenticity is not an achievement. It is a return. A coming back to the place where you were already yourself before you learned to fragment.
The most present beings, like a child looking without filters, a tree in its stillness, the ocean in its own pulse, exist without strategies. They do not justify themselves. They simply are. And so were you before fear. Before the character that was born to protect you.
Deep down, we are still that child under the blankets inventing entire universes with an intact imagination. That child was not trying to become anything different from what it already was. It did not follow a plan. It was not performing anything. It simply existed, whole and present.
That is your original blueprint: your center before the wound, your creativity without self editing, your truth before you learned to distrust it.
Life transforms you, yes, but your essence does not disappear. It remains beneath everything you built in order to survive. Each fall, each rupture, each new beginning is not a failure. It is a reminder. Return. Return to the place where you do not need to justify your existence.
Life is not a project to complete. It is an experience to inhabit. And when you stop running toward an ideal version and sit with yourself in soft and honest truth, you discover something that was always there. Coming back to yourself is the most courageous spiritual act and also the simplest one. You never stopped being with yourself. You only stopped listening.
If you could reeducate yourself again, like that child under the blankets, what would you choose today? What would your essence choose if it could begin once more from its most real authenticity?
With love,
Maria Luisa.
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